KPC Healing | kpchealing.com/scripture/faith-guides/forgiving-others
Step-by-step faith guide
Level: IntermediateForgiving Others
Forgiving someone who hurt you can be one of the hardest things the gospel asks. It doesn't mean pretending the hurt didn't happen, saying it was okay, or staying somewhere unsafe. It means, over time and with God's help, letting go of the debt and the wish for revenge.
Forgiveness is usually a process, not a single moment. These steps can be repeated as often as you need.
Before you begin
- Forgiving isn't the same as trusting. You can forgive someone and still keep healthy distance or limits. Our Building Trust guide explains the difference.
- Your safety comes first. If someone is hurting or threatening you, forgiving them never means you have to stay in harm's way. Please reach out to someone you trust or a church leader for help.
- Deep hurts can take a long time. Be patient with yourself.
The steps
Go at your own pace. Read each scripture in context if you can, and come back to any step as often as you need.
Step 1: Be honest about the hurt
Name what happened and how it affected you. Anger and grief are not sins. Bring them to God honestly instead of hiding them.
Scripture
“The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.”
Psalm 34:18 “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath”
Ephesians 4:26
Reflect
What exactly was taken from me, or hurt, by what happened?
Try this
Write down what happened and how it made you feel. Then offer it to God in prayer.
Write your response
Write down what happened and how it made you feel. Then offer it to God in prayer.
Step 2: Remember how you have been forgiven
Think about the mercy you've received from Jesus Christ. Forgiving others grows out of being forgiven ourselves.
Scripture
“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.”
Ephesians 4:32 “even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
Colossians 3:13
Reflect
When have I needed, and received, forgiveness I didn't feel I deserved?
Try this
Spend a few minutes thanking God for a specific time you were forgiven.
Write your response
Spend a few minutes thanking God for a specific time you were forgiven.
Step 3: Choose to begin forgiving
Forgiveness often starts as a decision before it becomes a feeling. Tell God you want to forgive, even if you don't feel it yet, and ask for help.
Scripture
- Matthew 6:14–15
- Doctrine and Covenants 64:10
Reflect
Am I willing to be willing? What would help me take a first step?
Try this
Say a short prayer: "Heavenly Father, I want to forgive. Please help me."
Write your response
Say a short prayer: "Heavenly Father, I want to forgive. Please help me."
Step 4: Pray for the person who hurt you
The Savior taught us to pray for those who mistreat us. It may feel awkward at first. Start small: ask God to bless them, or to help them change.
Scripture
“pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you”
Matthew 5:44 “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”
Luke 23:34
Reflect
What do I hope for this person, beneath the hurt?
Try this
Include the person in your prayers for one week, even with just a sentence.
Write your response
Include the person in your prayers for one week, even with just a sentence.
Step 5: Let go of revenge
Leave justice to God. That means not trying to get even, not keeping score, and not replaying the hurt to punish them. You can still seek fair help through proper channels when that's needed.
Scripture
- Romans 12:19
“Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Romans 12:21
Reflect
Where am I still trying to make them pay? What would it feel like to set that down?
Try this
Notice once this week when you replay the hurt, and gently turn your thoughts to a prayer instead.
Write your response
Notice once this week when you replay the hurt, and gently turn your thoughts to a prayer instead.
Step 6: Keep wise limits
Forgiveness is about the past. Trust is about the future, and it is earned. It's wise to keep boundaries with someone who hasn't changed, especially if you've been harmed.
Scripture
“A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself”
Proverbs 22:3
Reflect
What limits do I need to feel safe and at peace, even while I forgive?
Try this
Write down one boundary you need, and talk it over with someone you trust if it helps.
Write your response
Write down one boundary you need, and talk it over with someone you trust if it helps.
Step 7: Forgive again, as often as it takes
Old hurts can come back. When they do, it doesn't mean you failed. Return to these steps as many times as you need.
Scripture
“I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.”
Matthew 18:21–22
Reflect
How have I changed since I first started trying to forgive?
Try this
When the hurt resurfaces, go back to step 3 and choose again.
Related and next steps
This guide is educational and isn't therapy or a substitute for professional care. If you feel overwhelmed, stop and reach out to a licensed professional or a KPC Healing provider.
Written by KPC Healing in our own words as an educational guide to faith practice. Scripture quotations are from the King James Version (public domain). References shown without a quotation are from the Bible or the Restoration scriptures (Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants). Reading each passage in its full chapter is always encouraged.
This guide is for personal study and devotion. It isn't therapy or medical advice, and it doesn't replace counsel from your own church leaders. We don't store anything you read or think about here. Read our privacy policy.
Last updated October 2026.
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